How do you cope when your partner works away from home?
My husband works away from home in the offshore Oil and Gas industry, which if I’m honest is incredibly hard. I appreciate I’m luckier than most wives whose husbands works away he has a set schedule and is never away for more than 3 weeks at a time. I have no idea how anyone copes with a partner who is away for months at a time. The other day there a friend of mine asked me how I cope with my husband being away from home so much. This inspired me to write down some of my tips for coping when your partner is away from home. This what helps me and might not work for everyone.
I think it’s important to keep yourself busy when your partners away especially over the weekends. When your working during the week you’re normally tried in the evenings and ready for bed after a couple of hours in front of the telly, but the weekends can seem very long when you are alone. Make plans to do something even if it’s just popping out to do the weekly shop get out of the house. I have a dog which forces me to get up and out the house every day I do wonder if I didn’t have him or plans whether I’d just spend my weekends in bed/on the sofa which is no way to live. Arrange to meet a friend for a coffee, invite someone round to watch a film or even organise a girls night out. Find a hobby you enjoy it could be blogging, crafts, baking anything you want. If you keep yourself busy you’re much less likely to think too much about your partner being away. Obviously, you will think of them but have something else to focus on help when you’re missing them
Have Some Me Time
A bit of a contrast to my last tip I know but when your partners away make the most of having your home to yourself. Have a long bath with no one disturbing you, watch a cheesy film, catch up on some trashy TV, watch some Youtube, you can do whatever you want. One of my favourite things is to grab a cup of tea and read my Bloglovin feed without any distractions. It’s nice to have alone time, especially if your partner isn’t away that much. Sometimes I do think I have the best of both worlds I can do all these things for two weeks every month and get to spend the rest of the month living with my husband.
I can’t phone my husband when he’s away (unless it’s a REAL emergency) which is probably one of the hardest things to cope with. If something good or bad happens at work I can’t send him a text or give him a call to tell him about it. Luckily he is able to call me every day and honestly his phone call is one of the best parts of my day (cheesy or what) just being able to hear his voice and talk about our days helps a lot. He also has internet access so I can send me emails. I send a lot of pictures throughout the day its a great way of sharing the little things which you probably wouldn’t talk about in a phone call, for example, the dog looked really cute on his walk today so I sent a photo. We also have little chats during the day over Facebook.
Make plans for when he gets back home so you both have something to look forward to. It could be as simple as picking a film to see in the cinema together or choosing a new restaurant to try out. Think about a new recipe you could cook together or somewhere new to go for a day out. You could even plan a weekend away together or holiday – although this could get expensive if he’s away a lot.
It’s OK To Miss Them
You don’t have to be miss independent and hold everything together when your partner isn’t around. You didn’t get married (start a relationship) to be alone you did it to be in a partnership and it’s tough when your partner isn’t there. It can be extremely hard when he’s not around especially if you’re having a bad day and need a hug. Friends and family can be a great source of support but it’s not the same as having your partner around. Sometimes it’s the little moments when you find yourself missing them like when you’re making a cup of tea for just yourself (I admit sometimes I get his mug out the cupboard without thinking). It’s OK to feel sad or even have a little cry once in a while but try not to let it get you down. Call your mum or best friend if you’re feeling down, chat to people online (you’re sure to find someone who understands what you’re going through), write about how your feeling. Remember it’s just as difficult for them being away from home (maybe even worse), at least you have your own bed at night and family and friends around. You are a lot stronger than you think and will get through it.
It’s Worth It
Lastly, it’s important to stay positive and remember why he’s doing this. For my husband its so that we can have a good income and has enabled me to have more freedom in my career than I otherwise would have. It does seem a little materialistic to say it’s about the money but often it is a big deciding factor when choosing a job which takes you away from home. This is also the career he wanted and went to uni for. Not having to worry about how we’re going to pay the bills or put food on the table is worth it. Also when he’s home I get him all to myself. He isn’t going out to work and coming home exhausted or stressed which means our time together is more enjoyable. I definitely think we make more effort to do things together than we did before he went offshore. For your partner it might be a great career opportunity to work somewhere else for a while, you may be saving for a house or a holiday and the extra money would be useful. Whatever the reason for them being away it will be worth it in the end.
There you have it my 6 tips for coping when your partner is away from home. I have written this from my personal perspective which is as a wife whose husband works away, however, the tips would work just as well if it’s your wife or girlfriend who is away from home.