Like everyone else I have my own personal goals and ambitions, and in order to achieve these I need to believe in myself because if I’ve learnt anything in my 30 years on this planet is you have to work for what you want. But that day sitting at my desk I couldn’t make any steps towards achieving my goals as my mind was telling me I wasn’t capable. In order to achieve something, you have to believe you can do it. So how do you overcome self-doubt and block out that inner critic telling you, you can’t achieve your goals?
Last week I had a bit of a moment of crippling self-doubt for whatever reason, I just felt like a complete failure and that I couldn’t achieve anything. Now I’m not normally like this at all, I’m one of those annoying people who see the positive side of everything and normally have faith that things will work out in the end. So these feelings of self-doubt that were creeping in were a real worry, especially since I’m currently home alone (my husband works away from home) which is tough enough without feeling down about yourself.
One of the main causes of self-doubt is comparing yourself to others. I know it’s easier said than done but try to stop comparing yourself to others (especially online). People only share the highlights of their life online so don’t compare their highlight reel to your behind the scenes. Trust me behind every Instagram is someone sitting in their pj’s with no makeup sharing a picture they took a few days ago, probably surrounded by mess. It’s also worth noting that when you are working towards a goal you shouldn’t compare your achievements to someone who has already achieved the goal. Remember they once were, where you are looking up at someone else and working hard to achieve their goals. Just concentrate on yourself and keep working on your own stuff, never mind what anyone else is doing – they aren’t you.
Self-doubt can creep in when your goals seem unattainable, try breaking your big goals into lots of smaller goals which will suddenly seem much more attainable. Try to make sure these small goals can be achieved in a short period of time, preferably so you can achieve a least one goal a day.
When you start doubting yourself it’s so easy to forget how far you’ve come already. Think of all that you have achieved already – no matter how small (some days just getting dressed counts as an achievement). Write all your achievements down so you can look them up whenever you start to doubt yourself. May buy a pretty notebook just for writing down your accomplishments in or write yourself a letter about you proud you are of yourself. Sometimes we have to be our own cheerleaders so remember to reward your achievements.
If you have feelings of self-doubt avoid being around critical people or anyone you makes you feel inadequate. Instead, surround yourself with positive supportive people. We all need a support network, no matter how small. Reach out online if you don’t know anyone, join supportive Facebook groups or take part in Twitter chats. Find people you can share your highs and lows with, who will support you working towards your goals (they may even have the same goals and you can work together).
Self-care is non-negotiable so make sure you make time to look after yourself. Whether it’s spending on an hour in the bath (with a glass of wine) in the evening or going for a walk in nature. It’s so important to look after yourself for your mental and physical health. Turn off the computer in the evening and relax before bed, I know I’m often guilty of working right up until bedtime but can see the different on the nights I stop and do something else before bed. Make sure you eat right and get plenty of sleep and do things just for yourself. If you feel happier about yourself you will be better able to focus on your goals and motivated to get work done.
Remember if there is someone you want to accomplish in life you have to believe in yourself in order to pursue your goals. If others can do it then so can you.
*These are just a couple of methods I found helpful to me, I’m by no means an expert and if you feel your feelings of self-doubt are more serious please seek help from a professional.